Last week I had dinner with some women in our community. These monthly dinners have become meaningful gatherings of like-minded leaders contributing in beautiful ways in this world.
Toward the end of the dinner, one of them was describing a work-challenge. She vulnerably said,
“I don’t think I can do this.”
My response was immediate.
“You haven’t done it yet. That’s very different from ‘can’t’. This entire last year you’ve proven to yourself that you can do hard, new things. This isn’t any different!”
If we were in a structured coaching conversation, I would’ve asked her to walk me back through the last five years of her life. The decisions she made when she wasn’t sure she could. The things she showed up for before she felt ready. The seemingly impossible things that somehow got done anyway. The ‘yeses’ she said even though she didn’t feel fully confident.
We didn’t have that conversation at dinner, but I could see she was having it in her brain. She nodded and said, “You’re right.” Her entire body shifted.
She has an entire track record of things she has never done before… that she did.
She didn’t know how to do any of them. Until she did.
Nelson Mandela was right:
I think about that every time I’m standing at the edge of something I’m not sure I can do.
I haven’t done it yet. That doesn’t make it impossible. It makes it my next growth edge.
Flip the script: You are more capable than your fear leads you to believe.
Researcher Carol Dweck spent decades studying what separates people who keep growing from people who stall. One of her most powerful findings: one word changes everything.
Yet.
You can’t do it yet. You don’t know how… yet. That tiny word keeps the door open instead of slamming it shut.
Look at your own track record, friend.
You have done things that once looked impossible. That evidence is real. It’s the proof of who you’ve already become.
Let it remind you who you still are.
“I can’t” is a period. “I can’t yet” is a beginning. 🧡
