I’m hardly old enough, but tomorrow I will have been married 25 years to my high school sweetheart. ❤️ Brian was only 22 years old and I turned 22 on our honeymoon.
In the last 25 years, we’ve iterated our marriage at least a dozen times. I’m not the woman he married in 2001 (thank God). Neither is he. One of the reasons our marriage is successful and spicy is because we keep compelling each other to the fullest version of ourselves.
Here’s a picture of us on our wedding day. What a high quality picture! We got married when digital cameras were brand new! (How about that tiara, too?!)
Another thing: this milestone anniversary has me thinking about what actually keeps people close and connected.
Being known. Not performing. Seen.
On a leadership level, I have seen this play out with high-capacity leaders, myself included. You get so good at being useful that you abandon yourself.
You lead the room. You carry the weight. You answer every text. You work 12-hour days so everyone else succeeds.
And slowly you become the one everyone leans on and the one nobody checks on.
That’s not connection. That’s performance with a smile.
One of the hills I’ll die on is that leadership does not have to be lonely. Connection is the antidote, and you are allowed to need it too.
My 25-year marriage to Brian has taught me that.
If you’re feeling lonely in life or leadership right now, tell me. I would love to connect with you.
PS. If you’re wondering how you’re doing relationally, take The Whole Leader Check-in. Honest awareness is the best place to start.
