A Lament for Women Who Lead

Seven years ago I wrote a similar lament based on the struggle for leading women. I was asked to write my own psalm, a reflection on Psalm 40, which speaks to an ache in the poet’s heart.

As I wrote this lament, the words flew off my fingers as I asked God – once again – HOW LONG we would sing this song of injustice, sexism, oppression, and inequality?

A few tears even fell for me, for my daughter, and for all the women who lead in any space. I know all too well how we have to fight in order to lead in full partnership with men.

This is my lament.

— April L. Diaz

PHOTO: @hannahbusing

PHOTO: @hannahbusing


No one likes waiting. Maybe least of all me.

I’ve waited for my entire life to see your Church reflect your heart to see men and women lead your people. Equally. Side-by-side. With skillful hands and integrity of heart (Psalm 78:72).  I’ve waited for your Church to wake up and get it that we have as much to contribute to the Kingdom as men do! I wish there was zero doubt in the Scriptures about how we are created, called, and given equal capacity to lead and teach.

Too many times I’ve seen women in the pit of despair because they have not been allowed to use their voice, their gifts, their experiences, their very calling to build the Kingdom. The ache has been palpable when we have been held back.

God, you have not stopped us from leading and teaching in every space. Your people have.

My sisters and I have cried when we’ve been told “no”, “be quiet”, “this is not your place”. We have burned with holy anger when our ideas have been co-opted by a male voice. We have felt the trauma of being relegated to roles and responsibilities that don’t match our gifts or calling.

We need your rescue, God. We desperately need you to bring good news in places where we are pushed down, snuffed out, and negotiated around. Your Kingdom suffers when we are relegated to roles and ministries and places where we are not gifted or passionate.


Our circumstances may not change, our culture may never fully reflect your heart for the Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, but you never change. You are solid and steady and trustworthy. When your Church may fail me, I can still be in awe by who you are. I will find my hope in who you are, not in a promotion or a platform or power. I will receive a new song that you give me and sing to the rooftops of who you are and what you’ve done.  I will serve you fully and contribute my best to your Kingdom, even in the midst of broken systems and unjust theology.

Give me the courage I need to be faithful today.

Give me the obedience to live fully into the woman you’ve created me to be.

Give me the vision to see what you see for my life and my sister.

How long will we sing this song? When I grieve for what our world is not yet, I must remember that you are a God of justice and have called ordinary people like me to bring justice on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 5:10). Help me not be afraid to speak out and speak for those whose voices have been silenced.

You have written your calling upon my heart and I will not forsake you. I will take joy in following you no matter what anyone else says. Help me listen to you more and more and follow you obediently.

Thank you for my calling, even if it’s not honored among others.

Ezer + Co. is all about activating women to live and lead with wholeness in full partnership with men.

This is our anthem and commitment. We provide transformational resources and relationships to get you desired results in your life and leadership.

* Original post was shared here on my personal website.